Sometimes the days seem to drag along. Other times, the months fly by. It’s hard to process that it’s been 10 months now since my mom went into cardiac arrest. 10 months now that she’s been in a persistent vegetative state. Man, whoever coined the term really wasn’t kidding with the “persistent” part … Anyway,… Read More 10 months
I’m pretty sure I took more photos of Mama yesterday than I ever have in my entire life … of any cat … combined. I think I just became that guy. (You are free to define “that” in whichever way you deem appropriate.)
What would you be doing if you knew you had less than 24 hours to live? … Lots of things, probably. … What would you be doing if you didn’t know you had less than 24 hours to live? … This, I guess … … At least, if you’re Mama. We’re saying goodbye to Mama… Read More What would you be doing?
My mom turned 71 today. We did a video call with my dad last night (because Taiwan is a day ahead) and sang happy birthday to her. I’m not sure she had any awareness of us, though, so it wasn’t exactly an uplifting moment. Anyway, people have been asking how she’s doing, so I figured… Read More 92 days …
This is the image I’ve seen twice a day for almost three weeks straight now … The intensive care unit opens for visitations twice a day, for half an hour each time. As I’ve previously mentioned, the experience reminds me of a cattle call. Visiting time nears, and a small crowd gathers outside the sliding… Read More Waiting …
It’s now been over three weeks since my mom went into cardiac arrest. Physically, she is stable, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to crash now. At least, not anytime soon.
Yet, she still hasn’t shown any overt signs of consciousness. And so, the waiting continues. At this point, we have to plan for the long haul, because it’s clear my mom’s situation isn’t going to be resolved any time soon.… Read More Hope is a Steak Knife
My mom used to drive down to San Diego every now and then to visit for a few days. Every time she came, she would bring a large box full of snacks and supplies. One time, she brought with her a plastic container filled with homemade mango salsa. I was impressed. I had never known… Read More My Mom’s Ingenuity
Some of you know that I’m a self-professed awkward hugger. To be clear, I don’t dislike hugging. I’m just … weird at it. Clearly, I’m even weirder at it when I’m being directed to hug my parents: Ever since my dad suffered his aneurysm in 2014, things have been rough for my mom. My and Melissa’s wedding… Read More Staged Awkward Hugs Are Even Awkwarder
My sister and I agree that we inherited our dancing ability from our mom. Here’s a clip from my wedding mother-son dance (or rather, our combined father-daughter/mother-son dance — sorry, Melissa, for not including the footage of you and your dad): None of this was practiced beforehand, by the way. I never even told my… Read More Dancing Queen
We’ve been here before. We’ve done this before. Flying halfway around the world … rushing into the ICU, not knowing what to expect … waiting … waiting … waiting for any sign of consciousness … finding hope in the tiniest eye movement … The good news is that she’s alive. The bad news is that… Read More Hoping for Sanity
The last time I saw you, you had come over to help with some electrical work at our house. Which is to say … you had come over to do some electrical work at our house while I watched and pretended to help, because really, I know jack sh!t about electrical work. Afterwards, I offered… Read More The Dinner We Never Had
Yep, it was kind of embarrassing, but looking back at it now, it was also pretty damned funny. If nothing else, I’d say it’s a good sign for our marriage that we both rolled with it and could laugh about the whole thing even as it was going down.… Read More The Agony of Marriage?
We had such a grand ole’ time that she puked in the Uber on the way home, and then pretty much passed out on the curb outside our house.
Okay, not a big deal … yet.
Well, okay. It’s a slightly big deal. Like specifically, 150 dollar-sized deals. But whatever. I also once puked in an Uber that Melissa had called and ended up getting fined for, so now we were even.
No, the big deal arrived after I finally got her back into the house, into the bathroom, and draped over the toilet …… Read More ‘Til Jail Do Us Part
Aaaargh, I … can’t … very well propose on September 11. That’s so inappropriate. Is … isn’t it?… Read More We got engaged on September 11
In the weeks since Marley’s death, Biscuit has been acting differently. Before, he would spend most of the day huddled quietly somewhere, but now, he paces around the house, meowing and meowing incessantly (oddly enough, just like Marley used to do). He’s much needier now, too, and actively seeks out affection from Melissa. He even rolls over on his back and lets her scratch him. This is something he never used to do.
Biscuit’s change in behavior has made us wonder if he’s sad or freaked out about Marley. Does he know what happened to him? Is that why he was howling when Marley died? When he wanders around the house now, is he looking for his brother?… Read More Do animals grieve?
That’s the kind of cat Marley was. Crotchety, moody, fickle, grumpy, emo … I’ve got an entire thesaurus of negative terms to describe his personality. That’s why he came to be known simply as #3. No name needed. Just … #3.
And here I am, incredibly bummed out that #3 is gone.
Ironic, isn’t it?… Read More Stupid Pet Deaths
You were one crotchety little cat. And every time you wanted attention or affection from us, it had to be on your terms. But hey, we still loved you. I wonder if Mama and Biscuit will miss you, too.… Read More Farewell, Marley
Kerri and I were classmates in grad school at UCSD. She was the brilliant immunologist who aced every class and earned her PhD in molecular biology in less time than it takes most people to get a bachelor’s. I was … well, let’s just say I was the exact opposite of that. (Hey, someone has to occupy the bottom end of that bell curve.)
Kerri and I became good friends, but after she graduated, she moved across the country, and we lost touch. It wasn’t until 2009 that I found out she had moved back to San Diego years before. Over the next six years, we messaged each other sporadically, and while we both talked about meeting up for a drink sometime to catch up, neither of us really made much of an effort to follow through.… Read More Old Friends
Thanks for taking care of that TPS report for us, Mama….… Read More Hard at Work
It’s been a while since I’ve written about my dad. The truth is, there hasn’t been much to write about. Melissa and I saw him last month, when we were in Taiwan. But aside from that, there just isn’t anything to report. He’s still living in the nursing facility and confined to a wheelchair. Physically, he can… Read More The Irony of Contentment