Lighthearted anecdotes
The closer something looks like an actual human being, without being an actual human being, the creepier it looks. That’s what the uncanny valley refers to — this dip in our emotional response to a human likeness.… Read More The Uncanny Valley and Why Boca Burgers Are Disgusting
If you’ve never had them, they’re called “egg rolls,” but they’re nothing like the deep fried pork-and-vegetable rolls you get at Chinese restaurants. No, these are cookies, plain and simple. Rolls and rolls of sweet flaky, buttery goodness. I used to eat them straight over the tin, because they’re so crumbly and messy.… Read More Cookie Convergence
Is anyone as baffled as I am by a local team choosing the seagull as its mascot? Seagulls are smelly, mean, and really kind of a nuisance, especially when you’re just trying to eat your lunch outside.… Read More Revenge of the Gulls
Yup, I finally figured out who our cat, Mama, reminds me of….… Read More Mama Jabba
When you’re scooping the litter box, do you ever pretend that it’s a treasure hunt, and you’re sifting for little gold nuggets? What’s that? You don’t? Yeah. Me, neither. There’s absolutely nothing that can make the process any less disgusting.… Read More Hey, Cat Owners….
Every time I hear Counting Stars by OneRepublic, I start singing, “You and me, baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel….” Because they’re the exact same song. Try it….… Read More Bloodhound Republic
There’s a tapas restaurant down the street that Melissa and I frequent, partially for the tapas and mostly for the sangria. I love tapas. I just hate the inevitable raised eyebrows you get when you tell someone you’re going to a “tapas bar” for dinner.… Read More Enunciation
I’m working on a couple of pieces for WordPress.com right now. They’re too long, so I need to cut them down a bit. If you’re a writer, then you’ll understand exactly how this kid must feel….… Read More What Editing Your Own Writing Feels Like
If your goal is to learn patience, do you fail if you learn quickly?… Read More Self-Defeating Goals
You know how you’re not supposed to eat undercooked pork? And you know how prosciutto is basically raw pig? Ever wonder how many centuries of explosive diarrhea it must have taken to perfect that recipe?
Several times a day, one of our cats will walk up to us, stare us down, then meow incessantly for like five minutes straight: “Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.” Of course, that makes us wish that we had some sort of cat translator, so we could know what exactly he’s trying to say to us.… Read More Speaking Cat
The graphic that’s been going around on why books are important for kids inspired me to create one that’s more applicable to myself….
Getting a hotel downtown for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary + making the most of not having to drive home = pukiest anniversary ever.
When people post screenshots from their phone, do you sometimes end up tapping the navigation buttons on the screenshot repeatedly, wondering why your phone has frozen, before remembering that you’re looking at a screenshot?
Last night was my official “farewell celebration” to mark the start of my new career. I was hoping to make it at least 40 years without ever puking in a cab. So much for that plan….
Melissa had a dream that we got engaged, so I asked her how I proposed. She replied that a ring just magically appeared on her finger. Damn. That’s a pretty high bar to set.
Dennis Hong's Attic 